Hayes, Margie Helms

Steve and Margie Hayes

       On March 3, 2018, those of us with a connection to the “Out of Union” blog lost one of the true stalwarts of our family. Margie Lee Helms Hayes was a rock of stability at the home place on Hayes Hill where Fred and Maggie Hayes raised nine children to adulthood.

       Margie married the youngest of the nine, Steve Weldon Hayes, on March 28, 1948. The young bride and groom immediately moved into the home place to help look after Steve’s ailing father Fred. He was dying of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) commonly referred to as Lou Gehrig’s disease. His slow deterioration must have been painful to witness. Margie sometimes spoke movingly of watching Steve and his brother Frank feeding Fred through a tube stuck down their father’s throat. Fred was to die just over a year later on May 6, 1949 leaving Maggie widowed and alone. Margie and Steve agreed to stay to live with and care for “Mother Hayes” for the rest of her lifetime. 
       By October 18, 1962 when Maggie died, all of Margie and Steve’s children had been born and were living at the home place. Maggie gratefully arranged for the house and some land to pass to the family. Margie and Steve raised their children there and called it home for the rest of their lives. They maintained and improved it and selflessly shared it with the rest of us as a touch stone for the family. The many reunions, visiting relatives, poker games, rabbit hunts and occasional hard drinking must have sometimes been a strain on Margie. If so, it never showed. She cooked and cleaned and shared and welcomed and loved all of us without reservation or complaint. She kept the flame alive and the welcome sign out. In turn, we all loved, appreciated and respected this wonderful, lovely woman.
       Eleanor Hayes reminisces about the way Margie could whip up a batch of biscuits in an old wooden bowl that she inherited from Mother Hayes. Margie would roll out the raw dough, cut, form, and place the individual biscuits into a greased pan, then pop it into the oven. In a few minutes, she would have created a perfectly browned treat. With a little butter, a slice of tomato, some jelly, or just plain, they were a hot, homemade special treat that made any visitor feel welcome and special. Eleanor remembers how everyone would gather around to string and snap green beans in the summer for Margie to can. Visitors could always count on some green beans to go with the biscuits. Margie’s special trick was to dice up a sweet raw onion to sprinkle over the top.
       But don’t think Margie was just a caregiver and hostess for the family. Although quiet about it, she was incredibly intelligent and well read. There is a great story about her persuading her high school principal to allow her to graduate a year ahead of time. She wanted to work to support our country’s efforts in World War II while the “boys” were away overseas.

Can't you just see this young vivacious girl doing that?

Margie as a young woman

       After she married Steve, Margie decided not to apply her intelligence and skills in an office; she wanted to concentrate on her most significant lifetime achievement: Raising her beautiful daughters Linda, Cathy and Susie. Sure enough, Margie’s three girls turned out to be among the most outstanding women in the Hayes family line.  (Cathy commented that she believes ALL the Hayes women are outstanding and she finds the preceding comment embarrassing. Granted that every woman associated with this family is outstanding, but Margie’s daughters are truly lovely human beings. Until Cathy figures out the password to this blog, the comment stays in!)

       The girls believed their mom could have easily been a nurse as she was always doctoring them with three main remedies. Every cut, scrape, nick or bruise was painted with Mercurochrome, a precursor to iodine. They often went to school covered in red spots where Margie had applied the medicine. Years later when Mercurochrome was taken off the market, Margie almost panicked. She believed that iodine was not as effective. The second indispensable cure in her medicine cabinet was calamine lotion for insect bites, wasp stings or poison ivy. Last but not least was Vicks VapoRub that was heavily applied to their chest and throats at the first sign of a cold or fever. Only after none of those home treatments worked would Margie consider a trip to Dr. Ormand’s office.
       Each of Margie’s daughters will attest that their mom was strict but always loving. It is a tribute to Margie – and to the character of her daughters – that they remained so faithful to and involved with her after Steve died. Linda and Susie lived nearby. Susie went over to fix breakfast most mornings and both daughters were always looking after their mom in sickness and in health. Cathy lived in Atlanta, but traveled frequently back and forth to stay with and care for Margie. Everyone could see that love at Margie’s funeral: Both Linda and Cathy got up before the assembled relatives and friends, choked back their tears, and eulogized their mom. The tribute paid by DeWayne Taylor, Margie’s grandson, was heart felt and touching. It brought wistful smiles and tears to every eye. Margie was immensely proud of her three daughters and the husbands they married, but if possible, DeWayne and granddaughter Maggie Thomas were even more cherished and precious.
       Margie was a woman of great faith and very involved in her church. Attendance was mandatory for her daughters. She always laid her clothes out on Saturday night for church on Sunday. It was one less thing to worry about the next morning. In later years after her daughters were grown, she would pick Eleanor up and they would attend together. Faithfully attending church on Sundays is good, but Margie truly lived with a Christian attitude every day of the year. She had an unconditional love and compassion for all people. She was an accepting, unbiased, nonjudgmental person who never criticized even the worst of us sinners.
       There can be no doubt that Margie is sitting at the right hand of God with her beloved Steve, probably snapping some beans and making a pan of biscuits in anticipation of our joining them. Margie will make heaven seem warm and welcoming just like she did at the old home place.

Margie Hayes